"When he chased me, he made lots of promises, but now he is reluctant to buy me a small gift."
"You may have a successful career, but you always ignore my needs. Is this relationship worth it?"
"Did I not do well enough to make him feel that I am not worthy of more efforts?"
In a relationship, the extent to which a boy invests in a girl is often a key indicator of the health of the relationship.
If he is unwilling to invest time, energy or even money, then you need to be wary that there may be hidden signals about his true feelings.
4 possible reasons why boys are unwilling to invest:
1. He is not serious enough about relationships
Involvement is the litmus test of emotional depth. A man who takes relationships seriously will take the initiative to pay for your happiness. If he’s being mean to you, it’s probably because he doesn’t see you as an important part of his life.
2. He lacks trust in relationships
Some boys have a "cost control mentality" in relationships and are afraid of being let down after investing. This mentality may stem from past love experiences, or it may be due to his uncertainty about the future.
3. He lacks emotional responsibility
Immature men often view relationships as a low-cost pastime rather than a relationship that requires careful management. For such men, dedication and commitment in a relationship are just "extra trouble" to them.
4. Your priority in his heart is not high enough
Who a person is willing to spend resources for reflects his position in his heart. If he prioritizes his time and money on his friends or hobbies instead of you, it means that you don’t have enough weight in his heart.
How to elegantly resolve the embarrassing situation of "low investment"?
When you find that a boy is not investing enough in you, don’t rush to blame or complain, it will only make him more disgusted. You need to use clever strategies to guide him to pay attention to and cherish you again.
Create "emotional demand points" and guide his active giving
Investment in relationships is motivated by "emotional needs." You can use some gentle hints to make him feel your needs and take the initiative to satisfy you. for example:
"I really like a necklace recently, but I haven’t been willing to buy it. I always want to save some money."
"The weather is getting colder, and I really want someone to accompany me to buy a new coat."
By creating these demand points, you express your desires without making him feel required. This method will trigger his "satisfaction" psychology and make him more willing to take the initiative to pay.
Create "unique memories" and enhance the scarcity of feelings
The human brain has a natural tendency to remember "unique experiences." If your relationship is unremarkable, his desire to invest in you will naturally weaken. How to create unique memories?
Plan a special trip, such as experiencing hot air ballooning, diving and other unforgettable activities together.
In ordinary days, add some small rituals, such as making an exquisite dinner for him with your own hands, or experiencing some new entertainment activities together.
This method will not only deepen his emotional impression of you, but also stimulate his motivation to be more willing to invest in you both materially and spiritually.
Use "uncertainty" to re-stimulate his cherishing psychology
If he’s being too casual with you, it could be because he thinks you’ll never leave. Properly creating a "sense of uncertainty" can make him realize your importance again. Specific methods:
Occasionally reduce active contact to let him feel that "you are not always around him."
Invest more time and energy into your own life, such as expanding your circle of friends and participating in interest activities, so that he can see that you have a colorful independent life.
When he realizes that you are an object worth chasing, rather than someone who belongs to him by rights, his willingness to invest will naturally increase.
Xiaoya’s boyfriend has a successful career, but every gift he gives her is very perfunctory. On his birthday, he only received a red envelope worth 100 yuan. This makes Xiaoya feel disappointed, but she doesn’t know how to deal with it.
After trying the "emotional demand point" strategy, Xiaoya accidentally mentioned:
“Recently I really want to go see a romantic musical, but buying the tickets alone is a bit lonely.”
Unexpectedly, my boyfriend took the initiative to buy two tickets and carefully arranged a surprise dinner.
Xiaoya’s changes made her boyfriend realize her needs and expectations. Nowadays, the relationship between the two is more stable, and the boyfriend is paying more and more.
The dedication in relationships is not just time and money, but also a manifestation of sincerity. "Let the other person learn to cherish you, never by complaining, but by guidance of wisdom."