“What should I do if I can’t find a topic to talk with the person I like?”
"I’m not interested in what the other party is talking about, how can I continue?"
"Sometimes the topics work well together, but the conversation gets cold during the conversation. What’s the problem?"
Many girls will encounter these problems during chatting. In fact, chatting is a technical job, especially when you want to attract the other party, it is not enough to rely on interesting topics. How to cut into the topic, arouse resonance, and promote the relationship is the core of high-level chatting.
Use the "perceptual approach" to activate the conversation atmosphere
The core of the perceptual approach is to mobilize the other party’s emotional resonance, not just to discuss the matter.
For example, when the other person mentions that "when I was a child, I liked to eat the pan noodles at the school entrance", don’t simply respond with "Oh, the pan noodles are really good", but start from his emotional perspective and delve deeper into the topic.
Emotional resonance questions:
"You made me want to try it! Didn’t you feel so happy when you ate it when you were a kid?"
"The smell at the school gate is probably what you miss the most, right? Do you have any special memories?"
Extensions that trigger associations:
"You loved eating pan noodles when you were a kid. Apart from this small shop, is there any place you particularly like to go to? I think you must have been very interesting when you were a kid!"
This method allows the other party to be immersed in the conversation, feel your interest and concern for him, and quickly close the psychological distance.
High-level "Interest Amplification Technique"
When chatting, if the other party mentions a certain hobby, don’t just stay on the surface, but use questions and compliments to dig into the deeper content. This will not only give him more to say, but also increase the other person’s good impression of you.
For example, if he says he likes basketball, you can ask:
"Which team is your favorite? Is there a player you particularly like? Is it because of a certain game that impressed you so much?"
Questions like this will make him feel that you really care about his interests instead of being perfunctory.
For example, if he says he is good at painting, you can say:
"So you are an artist! Do you have any proud works that I can appreciate? I particularly like creative people."
With compliments:
"At first glance, you seem to be a focused and talented person. This kind of personality is really attractive."
Allowing the other person to talk about his "areas of expertise" is not only the key to opening the conversation, but also the catalyst to inspire him to like you.
Breaking the conventional "co-creation topic method"
The core of co-creating topics is to let the other party build a certain situation or story with you. This interaction can quickly stimulate the other party’s desire to express and make the chat content more interesting.
Role Substitution Method
For example, if you are talking about a movie, you can ask him:
"If you were the protagonist in the movie, what would you do? Would the ending be more exciting?"
Through guidance, letting him actively participate in "re-creation" not only expanded the topic, but also made the conversation more interesting.
Hypothetical situation method
For example, when talking about travel, you can assume a scenario:
"If one day we go to Iceland to see the aurora, what do you think the first thing we will do will be?"
This method allows him to unconsciously include you in his future plans and subtly advance the relationship.
Associative expansion method
Trigger an association about a certain detail:
"You like adventure movies, would you try skydiving or diving in real life? Do you have an adventurous spirit in your heart?"
"Sharing invitation method" makes chat more in-depth
Some girls will not dare to take the initiative to invite someone because they are afraid of being rejected. In fact, as long as you use the right method during chatting, not only will the invitation not appear abrupt, but it will also make the other person look forward to meeting you.
Gourmet invitation
When talking about food, he said:
"I heard you said you like Sichuan food. I happen to know a restaurant that is super authentic. We can try it together next time."
This kind of invitation may seem easy, but you can observe the other person’s interest in you.
Interest Invitation
If he mentions a favorite sport, you can follow up with:
"What a coincidence! I also want to try rock climbing recently. You can take me with you next time. You can be my coach!"
This kind of talk not only shows your interest in him, but also subtly gives him a reason to take the initiative to take you.
A real invitation is to make the other person feel that he is taking the initiative to invite you.
Use the "exclusive feeling formula" to customize the other party’s unique impression
Everyone hopes that they are special in the eyes of others. When chatting, you can convey a "sense of exclusivity" through words to make the other person feel that you are only special to them.
Exclusive praise:
"You are really different from others. You especially have your own ideas. I like chatting with you very much."
Private memory:
Mention something unique about him in the chat, such as:
"I really thought the movie you recommended last time was great. Only you will find such a good work."
Special title:
According to his characteristics, give him a special name, such as "little detective" or "little writer", so that he can feel your attention to him.
The core of high-level chat: emotional connection
A chat that can truly bring you closer does not depend on the topic itself, but on whether the other party can feel the emotional resonance from your conversation.
Learn to retell emotions
If he says: "I’ve been under a lot of pressure at work recently."
You can respond: "It sounds like you’ve been really tired recently. Do you need to relax?"
This kind of retelling can make him feel that you understand him and are willing to open up.
Respond to him with your feelings
If he says: “I was really tired from hiking on the weekend!”
You could say, "I can imagine how great it would be to climb to the top of the mountain, but the descent would probably be enough for you, too."
Right? "
Starting today, try these high-level skills, and you will find that chatting is no longer a task, but an emotional journey of warming up.
"The real high-level chat is to make the other person feel that there is always endless topics to talk about when you are together."
If you also want to learn more chat skills, please leave a message to share your questions, or add the emotional analyst’s WeChat below, and let’s discuss your exclusive chat solution: