Have you ever had an embarrassing moment like this:
I added the boy I like on WeChat, but I don’t know what to talk about;
I sent a "Are you there", but got a cold "Hmm" in exchange;
I wanted to get closer, but found that the more we talked, the less topic we had to talk about.
Many girls ask: "Why can’t I always talk to boys?" In fact, the root cause of the problem lies in the following two points:
01
Know too little about the other party
If you don’t understand boys’ hobbies and preferences, you will naturally not be able to find common topics. The other person’s circle of friends and social media are your “treasure map” for understanding him.
02
Lack of chat skills
Many girls are used to starting with "Are you there?" "Have you eaten?" and "Have you slept?" This method can easily make the chat boring and monotonous. If you meet another introverted boy, it will be more difficult to advance the topic.
“The art of chatting lies not in how much you say, but in how much you can induce the other person to say.”
The key to becoming a good chat girl is to understand the other person and master the correct techniques. 3 steps: From unfamiliarity to intimacy, make a boy fall in love with chatting with you:
1
.**Deeply explore the other party’s points of interest**
Before chatting, first find out the other person’s points of interest through their circle of friends and updates. This will not only avoid awkward conversations, but also make the other person feel that you and him have "like-minded interests."
Case:
A boy and the girl he likes added on WeChat, but the girl responded coldly. At this time, he noticed that the cover of the girl’s Moments was a photo of her and a dog, and she also liked a lot of videos about pets.
So, he took the initiative to ask the girl: "I want to raise a dog recently, can you give me some advice?" Unexpectedly, this sentence opened up the girl’s chat box. The more the two chatted, the more they became more and more speculative. The girl even took the initiative to send him a message asking him about raising a dog. .
“If you want to close the distance, start with the other person’s points of interest.”
2
.**Use the dual strategy of “praise + questions”**
Just praising the other person for being handsome and outstanding can easily make people feel careless; but just asking questions can make people feel stiff and rigid. The strategy of praising + asking questions can not only make the other party feel your appreciation, but also lead to more topics. Three Principles of Praise:
Don’t give blind compliments.
For example, if you say: "Your circle of friends is full of cats and dogs, you are so kind!" The other party may reply to you: "Why are you browsing my circle of friends?" This will make the atmosphere awkward.
The correct approach is: "I saw that you have a dog, and I think it is very interesting. You must take care of it very carefully, right?" This is both natural and elicits a response from the other party.
Appropriately "wear a high hat".
For example, when the other party answers your question, express your gratitude in a timely manner: "Thank you for your advice! It seems that you are really experienced in raising dogs. Can I ask you if I have any questions in the future?" Most people don’t know how to do this. Deny such request.
Broaden the scope of topics.
When a topic is finished, don’t rush to end it. You can expand to new areas based on the chat content. For example, if the other person mentions that he likes basketball, you can ask:
"Did you like basketball when you were a child? You must have participated in many games at that time, right?"
Every compliment and question is foreshadowing the next conversation.
3
.**Make chat "lifelike"**
Daily chatting can make each other more relaxed and avoid making each other feel stressed. For example, instead of asking, “What movies do you like to watch?” you could say:
"I just watched a very interesting movie yesterday, and I think it’s very suitable for you. Guess what it is?"
This kind of conversation is more natural and easier to arouse the other party’s emotions.
Two tips for life-oriented chatting:
- Share past life experiences.
For example, if the other person’s family atmosphere is cold, you can mention that you have lived in a warm family since you were a child, and at the same time express your understanding of him: "I know it’s not easy for you, and I really appreciate how independent you are." This not only shows your The ability to empathize and convey warmth.
- Talk about common memories.
Find things you are both familiar with, such as places you have been to, movies you have watched, and books you like. Shared memories are the fastest way to bring relationships closer.
"A truly warm chat is when two hearts gradually get closer in the details of life."
4
.3 big chat taboos: avoid these pitfalls to make the conversation sweeter and sweeter
1. Avoid mentioning sensitive topics.
Don’t start talking about the other person’s income, ex, etc., as this will only make the other person wary of you.
- Don’t ask questions like "household check".
Asking too many questions can make the other person feel like they are being interrogated. Chat is a two-way sharing, not a one-sided request.
- Don’t be too eager.
Don’t try to quickly get closer in a short period of time. Relationships take time to settle, and chatting is just the first step in establishing a connection.
Welcome to share your story in the comment area, and let’s explore more tips for warming up your relationship!