Long-distance relationship is a special love model that tests the patience, trust and planning ability of two people. Many couples feel tired when they are in a long-distance relationship, and some even believe that long-distance relationships are destined to not last long.
But in fact, as long as you master some key skills, long-distance relationships can not only last, but also make the relationship deeper!
When Ms. Wang and her boyfriend first started living apart, they maintained warm contact every day. Say "good morning" in the morning and "good night" in the evening. Daily greetings make them feel that they are still close to each other.
However, as time went by, problems gradually emerged.
When Ms. Wang encounters troubles at work, she longs for a warm embrace, but she can only talk to her on the phone. When her boyfriend is under tremendous pressure in a new city, he also longs for her company, but he can only face it alone.
This lack of actual companionship gradually caused rifts in their relationship.
Once, Ms. Wang fell ill and had to drag her exhausted body to the hospital. Seeing the patients around her being accompanied by their family members or loved ones, her grievance exploded instantly.
And when she called her boyfriend, he didn’t answer the call because he was busy, which made her feel even more lost and helpless.
Why is it so difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship? To solve the problems in long-distance relationships, you first need to understand its essential challenges:
The shortcoming of "absence"
When you are happy, the other person can only share it through words, but cannot truly be with you; when you are sad, he cannot wipe away your tears and can only say empty words of comfort. Long periods of "absence" make feelings lonely and exhausting.
Misunderstanding and alienation in communication
Although text and voice are convenient, they cannot completely replace face-to-face communication. Sometimes your tone or expression may be misunderstood. Coupled with the fact that we are in different environments, the topics of conversation between the two parties are reduced, or even there is nothing to say.
Lack of trust
When the other party does not reply to the message in time, you may unconsciously think: "Is he chatting with other girls?" And once a lie occurs, the rift in trust will be infinitely magnified by the long-distance relationship.
Rhythm out of sync
Your weekends are when he is busiest, and you work overtime when he is free. This unsynchronized pace of life makes it difficult for two people to experience the beauty of life simultaneously.
Uncertainty about the future
Long-distance relationships also face practical dilemmas: Who will move for the other person? Can the development directions of both parties be consistent? Confusion and uncertainty about the future often become the biggest killers of long-distance relationships.
How to make a long-distance relationship go further?
Plan your time well to give your relationship a sense of direction
Whether a long-distance relationship can be successful depends largely on two people’s ability to plan time.
Short-term planning: 1 to 6 months
Decide on a monthly meeting time, such as choosing a city in between, or taking turns to visit each other. In addition, you can plan trips together and create more shared memories.
Medium-term planning: 1 to 2 years
Establish clear career and life goals and prepare for the end of your time away from home.
For example, you can communicate like this: "When I finish this project, I can come to you to find a job."
Long-term planning: 2 years and beyond
Determine the specific time for ending the long distance, and discuss future living arrangements, such as where to settle, how to allocate work, etc.
Only when both parties have clear expectations for the future can this relationship go further.
Improve communication quality and enhance "sense of presence"
Communication in a long-distance relationship must not only be of high frequency, but also of high quality. Set aside a fixed time every day for in-depth communication, discuss the happy and annoying things of the day, and let the other party feel your concern.
For example, you can express it like this during daily video:
"My dear, I saw a figure who looked very similar to you today. I ran after him and found that it was not you. I really miss you."
"When I hear your voice, all my fatigue disappears."
This delicate expression touches the other person more than a simple "I love you."
Establish a trust mechanism to avoid unnecessary suspicion
The biggest fear in long-distance relationships is the lack of trust, so you must be honest and transparent. For example:
Take the initiative to share your day’s itinerary and let others know what you are doing.
If you miss the other party’s message, explain it in time and add: "I just had a meeting and didn’t see it. Thank you for waiting for me!"
Increase the sense of interaction and create a sense of ritual
The key to a long-distance relationship is to make the other person feel your presence at all times. Interaction can be enhanced by:
Watch dramas and play games together, and enjoy each other’s company simultaneously even if they are separated by a screen.
Prepare small surprises for each other on special holidays, such as customized gifts and handwritten letters.
Long-distance relationships are indeed full of challenges, but it can also allow two people to learn a deeper level of love and understanding in the distance. As long as you have clear plans for the future and are willing to invest energy in each other, you will definitely be able to overcome the obstacles of distance and usher in a happy outcome.
If you are in a long-distance relationship but feel confused and don’t know how to improve the emotional intensity, quickly add the emotional analyst’s WeChat below and let the teacher teach you to use wisdom to solve the problems in the relationship and hold on to love steadily: